How to be a Better Friend

I climbed into my car after meeting with a friend, my heart a jagged, gaping wound. Everything I thought I knew about friendship collapsed. In the weeks since, God has been, bit by bit, stitching the gash closed. And with each pierce of the needle and draw of the thread, I’m learning–perhaps for the first time–the true meaning of friendship. 

Needle and thread


A true friend —

  • is someone with whom we can be transparent–and know at the end of the day they’ll still love us.

  • doesn’t shed us like an old coat.

  • doesn’t toss us aside when the flavor they’ve been chewing on gets old, worn out.

  • never gives up on us, gets tired of us, turns away or pulls away.

A true friend is someone who thinks we’re worth the effort.


A true friend —

  • loves us and accepts us the way we are right now.

  • helps us be better than we are.

  • spurs us on to higher ground to seek God, to serve others.

  • doesn’t let us walk around with toilet paper hanging off our shoe.

  • doesn’t let us talk with spinach in our teeth.

  • protects us, goes to bat for us, speaks well of us, wants to be with us.

A true friend rejoices in our friendship.



  • A true friend is someone we can talk to without having to qualify every word, without fear of misunderstanding, of judgment.

  • A true friend lets us rattle on, vent, wrestle through our struggles.

  • A true friend leads us away from our flesh.

  • A true friend leads us to the heart of God.

A true friend speaks the truth in love.


A true friend does not —

  • allow us to run off a cliff.

  • dishonor God’s name or His people.

  • allow the enemy to deceive us.

A true friend doesn’t love their pride more than they love us.

A true friend is someone like Jesus: 

  • Who when betrayed by friends, freely forgave.

  • Who when censured by friends, still loved.

  • Who when abandoned by friends, received them back into His life, into His heart.

True friends are the arms of God supporting and loving His people.  And that’s the kind of friend I want to be;  a better friend, a true friend.

A Jesus friend.

How about you? Which aspects of true friendship resonate with you?



Pictures courtesy of

Comments 14

  1. It was a blessing to me too. I wish I was that perfect friend but have failed in certain instances and could have done a better job of it at the least, in other instances. I must go onward and upward seeking God’s face and His grace where I fail. Jesus is the true friend – humans are so imperfect even when they think they are spiritual giants. We need the love, forgiveness and grace of our Heavenly Father to help us keep on keeping on. Thought a reminder of this old song might remind us of Him.
    His Love has no limit, His grace has no measure, His power has no boundaries known unto man, But out of his infinite riches in Jesus. He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

    1. Post
  2. Bethany, Wonderful and inspiring post, as always! For me, of all the friendly traits, forgiveness is of the highest importance. No matter how good a friend we are or how good of a friendship we have with another we will all fail, falter and fizzle–most likely when we are needed most (or are in need most of a friend.) Forgive to be forgiven and never take for granted a friend who can say, “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you.” God Bless, luke

    1. Amen! And I agree. Friendship, as well as every other relationship, rises or falls on each person’s willingness to forgive. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  3. Great read Bethany. You are a true friend. 🙂
    I am always striving to be a better friend to others, with some people it comes very easy, with others it can be a challenge. I love a friend who is transparent with me and gives me the freedom to be transparent with them–loving me unconditionally all the while.
    My greatest friendships are with those who have put Jesus first in their lives, by loving Him first they are a better friend to others. 🙂

    1. Thanks. You are too. 🙂 Some relationships are easier than others. Isn’t that the truth! As Christians, we may not all be close friends, but we should all be true friends.

    1. I was going to put a smiley face…but it didn’t seem to fit! 😉

  4. Terrific post. I want to be this kind of friend, but fall short in so many ways. Perhaps that knowledge will help me be more forgiving when others fall short, too. Sigh. Relationships require hard work…but they’re worth it!

    1. My many failures as a friend and the grace God daily extends to me, spurs me on to extend that same unmeasured grace to others. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Way to go, Bethany!!! You have blessed my heart, yet again, and challenged me.
    Thank-you. I love you.

    1. So glad you were blessed. You are a “true friend” and I’m so thankful for you.

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